-When you're on vacation or an outing that you want to Instagram the heck out of to show that you actually get off your couch sometimes ... but you're out of memory on your phone! Curses! You don't want to spend ten minutes going through your photo stream to find and delete the forty pictures that your toddler took of her toes, because the moment is about to pass! The pony ride is about to be over, people! Instead, pick an app to delete. You can easily reload it later when you've had a chance to transfer your pictures to your computer. I usually delete my BBC or CNN apps. News can wait when you're making memories (make sure you read this in a grandfather-from-a-Nicholas-Sparks-novel voice).
-Instead of peeling the safety seal off your vanilla (or other extracts or liquids you usually only need a small amount of), cut a small slit in the seal so you have more control over how fast it comes out. If yours comes in a plastic bottle, you can even give it a little squeeze to fill that teaspoon a quarter-second faster. You'll spill less and will neatly sidestep your phobia of accidentally wasting half the bottle of your expensive Madagascar bourbon vanilla if your hand twitches.
-Here's how to make a super-easy, no-sew baby doll carrier with which your kids can adorably imitate you. Seriously, this project will last as long as Donald Trump's political career.
Lay out an old t-shirt and mark it for cutting like so:
|Note my summer toenails.|
Cut through both layers.
|In case you skipped kindergarten and don't know what "cutting" means.|
One of your scraps can be used as a chic dickie.
|You have to make this face when you're wearing a dickie.|
Cut on these lines, but THROUGH ONE LAYER.
Unfolded, it should look like this↓. I love that down arrow.
|It's like a disembodied bunny coming in for a hug.|
More cut lines. Again, THROUGH TOP LAYER ONLY.
All done!!! ↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓
Remember to support baby while you're securing the carrier. Just kidding, it's just a stuffed polar bear.
Cross straps across the back and tie in front.
|Support the neck!!|
|Baby carriers are practically clothes.|
Gotta go make some lentils. Adios.