To advertise not the Apple brand, but the resentment I now hold for their stickers, I've been brainstorming ironic places to put them. Here are my ideas:
-The back pocket of some mom jeans. Maybe I could pair the jeans with a black turtleneck to complete the look.
-Walmart toilet. Preferably clogged. If I'm lucky it will come off and adhere to someone's muffin top.
- The tub of witch hazel hemorrhoid pads I got when I had Graham (they have multiple uses, no judging)
-The abandoned Kroger shopping cart in the yard a block away
-Kim Jong-un's Trapper Keeper
-An enormous diamond at the end of a necklace around Kate Middleton's neck
-A jar of moldy cinnamon applesauce
-The crumbly loaf of crock pot soap I botched yesterday
|Sad, sad, little soap loaf. Not even Apple can save you.|
-Use as a stencil for a lower-back tattoo
-I wish I could find someone who broke their arm, or leg, in a really stupid or embarrassing way, and then I would put the sticker on their cast and sign it, "An Apple for a Dummy."
-Use as a belly button lint protection patch:
|Not my stomach.|
So boo on you, Apple marketing team! Take your free stickers and put them on your grannies' pressure stockings!