Wednesday, October 16, 2013

BIG NEWS

Oh. My. Chevron. You guys.

I got an iphone, and nothing is the same. It's like I emerged from a cocoon of technological mediocrity, in tandem with the iphone as it likewise escaped its sleek white box into my waiting palms. I am now a butterfly.

iButterfly

I can do so much more with my life now. I can Instagram pictures of everything I eat. Oh, and everyone I love.

#thaigram
#grahamgram

I can read BBC (natch) while Graham pilfers pretzel goldfish from his friends at the park. I can read my scriptures on my phone at church just like everyone I used to judge. I can listen to Pandora while I run a route I'm mapping via an app that tells me just how much slower I am than I thought. I can do anything. I can even ... drumroll ...

BECOME A FASHION BLOGGER.

That's right. This is happening. So I was on my phone, testing my Spanish skills on an app that I selected because of its adorable bird mascot, when it spoke to me--not in Spanish ... it was the spirit of the phone trying to commune with me, not the app that kept blabbing on about how some niño wanted a red shirt.

Anyway, I listened, because when god starts talking, you listen, amiright?

Here's what happened:

iPhone: I have the. best. idea.

Kimber: Yes, my precious?

iPhone: How about you go put on an awkwardly-coordinated outfit, dig your non-prescription nerd glasses out of the costume box, and make your husband take take a hundred pictures of you posing like an amateur in the street in front of your house. Your neighbors won't think you're weird at all, probably.

Kimber: GREAT idea.

iPhone: YOLO

ignore the crushed beer can that fell out of my neighbor's recycling bin
oh ... what's that sound? perhaps the flutter of my authenticity flying away ... how can the iphone make me so iphony?
I'm sooo excited to share this look with you. You know how it's getting to be Autumn, so you want to break out your boot stash? But you are still attached to your flowy, summer-style cotton peasant maxi skirt ... so, mindblown, put them together. Peanut butter and jelly fashion, my friends.

thinking about Jack Kerouac, or else how the design on my skirt totally goes with the oil stains on the road

Then I knew I just had to complete the ensemble with my go-to chambray button-up. Because nothing adds working-class legitimacy to this Laura Ingall's-inspired look like chambray.


Shoes: Steve Madden, Tights: I forgot, Underwear: none of your business, Skirt: Target, Belt: Target, Top: Eddie Bauer, Watch: Husband's castaway (doesn't that sound like a great brand? .. or else a great name for a feminist band?), Eyewear: Amazon, Earrings: street vendor in Barcelona *elitist cough*, Hair elastic: Alexander McQueen, maybe.

This is just the nascence of my fashion blogger quest. Some other projects in the queue:

-I'm teaming up with the best little vintage boutique I found downtown. I'm going to be putting together a few looks from their new fall line. It's called Goodwill, which kind of sounds like Madewell if you squint your ears.

-Tomorrow we're having a guest post from one of my fashion icons. Her style is so inspiring--it's like her clothes could be my spirit animal. I can't wait to show you the looks she's curated!

hashtag nonchalant selfie

iPhone: All too easy.
 

4 comments:

  1. Hair by???? Lip color by??? We WANT to KNOW these details so that we can get the total look ourselves. Right now, my style at recess is orange reflective vest, hip pack NOT worn on hip, but over the shoulder, large walkie talkie on waist, lanyard with badge AND whistle, and a HUGE megaphone...I love the Grahamgram!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Such an inspiration!!!! Can I just say, chambray. every. time. Also, you forgot to tell us what Graham is wearing!?! I neeeeeed that dino costume/hat/bib/thing!

    ReplyDelete

Comments make my day.