Monday, July 2, 2012

Ugly.

Ohmyheck--WHY are people into such ugly stuff? And by "people" I mean the people running the internet.

If you've fallen prey to any of these ugly things, you can either repent and come back to the fold of safe style mediocrity, or else defend yourself and try to convert me to your aesthetically-challenged ways. If I'm really wrong (and I think that I am not), I'd love for you to educate me. Because I have changed my mind in the past. I used to think mangoes tasted like porta-potties (based on my imagination, not experience), but now I love them! Your favorite ugly thing could be my next mango.

First offender: Peep Toe Wedge Booties

sick.
First off, the name "Peep Toe Wedge Booties" just makes me think of wedgies or peekaboo "buttock cleavage" (this is really what Wikipedia calls it). They make feet look like oversize hooves. And why put a peep toe on a boot? Why ruin a boot by making it a bootie? Wrong on so many levels. Displayed on so many blogs.

Second offender: Anthropomorphic Fox Art

So ironic. It's so deep I'm drowning.
What is with the obsession behind humanized animal art? I love myself a cute little depiction of a hedgehog in Ray Bans or something (haven't actually seen that done--so don't steal the idea! Etsy shop here I come ...), but most of the stuff I've encountered is creepy. It's like Disney's Robin Hood mated with a Tim Burton movie. And these things are on nursery walls! How can those little kids not grow up bad-weird?

Third: Chevrons.

Like a Charlie Brown sand art.
I don't think my dislike of the zig zag has anything to do with my husband's working for ExxonMobil (though the Exxon tiger mixed with the Mobil pegasus would be a mighty creature to behold). Chevrons are just lame. Ugly. So polyester knit bodysuit, excuse me, romper from the 70's.

These are lessons in ugliness. That being said, I know it doesn't take much energy to dislike something. What is admirable is admitting your fondness for something others think is ugly/weird/stupid. It's okay if you love (or wish) that your baby sleeps under a mural of a band of foxes wearing Chevron-print toe cleavage booties. What's not okay is that your child may expect you to pay the inevitable therapy fees they will incur after they move back into that creepy nursery after graduating with a degree in humanities--that's just entitlement.

5 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha! Loved this. I'm with you, I don't get the current obsession with ANY of the above. Well said, m'dear, well said.

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  2. I like chevrons, but only wide stripes with two colors. I totally agree on the shoes!! They are hideous! I smiled about that one.

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  3. Ferrrrrills. Booties of any kind = not my thing. Peep toes just push it over the edge for me. And the animal art... I'm glad I'm not the only one worried about having nightmares after seeing all those pictures of creepy Fantastic Mr. Foxes, or ever worse, well-dressed humans holding albino rabbit masks over their faces. *shudder*

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  4. I think I have 27 crocheted afghans in that Chevron pattern. Is that the easiest pattern?

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