The Gremlin won't eat ... unless I give him chocolate, strawberries, or black beans. The kid loves black beans.
|Eat? Pshaw, can't you see I'm doing chair parkour?|
|He did eat when he was smaller ... but he's since developed something dreadful ... some call it a "will." I call it "the end of my reign."|
How do I get him to eat? His one year check-up is approaching and my self-worth as a mother is inextricably fused with his percentiles. His weight at the 9 month day of judgement? 9th percentile. NINTH. His head was above average, though, and the motherly smugness of having a baby with a big brain (because that's all a big head can mean, duh!) helped me feel better about the motherly shame of having a scrawny kid.
|A rare sighting of the creature feeding. BTW, nursing is never a "feeding"--sickest word ever.|
I try to feed him, I promise. Nathan accuses me of only giving him healthy food and that's why he doesn't eat, so in desperation I gave him a cookie for lunch last week ... which of course he loved. Curses.
|It was Thanksgiving, he humored me. And who can say no to Pillsbury crescent rolls? No one with Hamson genes.|
Can I blame him for his palate? While pregnant my diet consisted mainly of Panda Express egg rolls and Costa Vida (this explains the black beans). How can I expect him to devour my offerings of quinoa and agave-sprinkled acorn squash?
|Starving artist: working on the installation art on my kitchen floor. (Untitled, various plastics)|
Short of tube feeding, do any of you sage parents out there have any advice? I have two weeks until weigh-in.