Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Graham, Eat That Stinkin' Avocado!!

This is how I feel about three times a day. These feelings usually coincide with trying to cram something down Graham's throat.

The Gremlin won't eat ... unless I give him chocolate, strawberries, or black beans. The kid loves black beans.

Eat? Pshaw, can't you see I'm doing chair parkour?

He did eat when he was smaller ... but he's since developed something dreadful ... some call it a "will." I call it "the end of my reign."

How do I get him to eat? His one year check-up is approaching and my self-worth as a mother is inextricably fused with his percentiles. His weight at the 9 month day of judgement? 9th percentile. NINTH. His head was above average, though, and the motherly smugness of having a baby with a big brain (because that's all a big head can mean, duh!) helped me feel better about the motherly shame of having a scrawny kid.

A rare sighting of the creature feeding. BTW, nursing is never a "feeding"--sickest word ever.

I try to feed him, I promise. Nathan accuses me of only giving him healthy food and that's why he doesn't eat, so in desperation I gave him a cookie for lunch last week ... which of course he loved. Curses.

It was Thanksgiving, he humored me. And who can say no to Pillsbury crescent rolls? No one with Hamson genes.

Can I blame him for his palate? While pregnant my diet consisted mainly of Panda Express egg rolls and Costa Vida (this explains the black beans). How can I expect him to devour my offerings of quinoa and agave-sprinkled acorn squash?

Starving artist: working on the installation art on my kitchen floor. (Untitled, various plastics)

Short of tube feeding, do any of you sage parents out there have any advice? I have two weeks until weigh-in.


  1. Well, at least the strawberries and beans are good for him. Have you tried enriched, fiber cereals? Cheese? (That'll fatten him up.) I guess NOT the avocado? Olives. They usually go right through. Cottage cheese, 4%? Little kid meat sausages? You guys never had that problem.

  2. As the parent of a similarly large-headed, lightweight non-eater, I feel your pain. Some of my successes:
    - smoothies. I put in lots of fruit and spinach and she thinks it's just juice.
    - homemade granola bars. Lots of oats in there.
    - Plain pasta with salt. Bland, carb-y, and almost no mess when she feeds herself.
    - Anything dipped in something else. Maybe Graham isn't old enough to enjoy doing this, but Rayna is a lot more likely to eat something when she can dip it, even if it's just dipping pieces of bread in jam or something.

    And the most important thing I try to remember:
    They aren't going to die if they eat only goldfish and ranch dressing for a week. I know this is true because Rayna is still alive.

  3. Brinley has always had trouble eating a variety of foods, but like Steph said, its not going to kill them. You are a great mommy! I think we all go through something like this when our little ones are trying to find their independence. Some things that Brinley has always loved are greek yogurt, cheese sticks, pretzels, eggs, and any kind of cereal. Good luck!

  4. Take a cube of butter. Cut it hot dog style so you have 4 long thin pieces and then roll them in hot chocolate. This is a snack that mountaineers eat to give them a lot of calories, but not a lot of weight to carry in their pack. What little kid wouldn't love butter rolled in hot chocolate? What adult wouldn't love that actually? :)


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