Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Chocolate Melk and Pee-pee Teepees

Nathan is out buying BYU creamery chocolate milk (pronounced "melk" in our house). I said be back in ten minutes because I'm sleepy ... it's been fourteen! It's not, like, the journey to the creamery is, like, epic or anything (that's for my family ... explanation in a later soapbox about the overuse of the word "like" and the misuse of "epic").

A funny thing happened today. Nathan was fiddling with a couple of these little treasures:

Pee-pee Teepees! A marvelous gift from a marvelous mother-in-law.

These cute little fabric cones are meant to prevent "baptism in the yellow fountain." While changing a diaper, you simply pop a teepee on your baby boy's business and go on worry-free. They are a little flimsy, and mostly for laughs, and also have never been truly tested as Graham has failed to grace us with his Bellagio-esque show when we've remembered the teepee.

So Nathan had some teepees, and this, he later told me, was going through his head (quickly, ie. faster than his logic could keep up with):

Silly teepees. Silly blue teepees. When we have a girl, will we get some pink teepees?

Then he realized his silliness and confessed his runaway train of thought.

And now he just came home, with no chocolate melk because the creamery was closed, as was the Crabtree building where there is a milk vending machine, and the Wilkinson center was also closed ... then the poor boy remembered the vending machine in the Wymount laundry room and so he came home with a pity-Twix.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Exodus in Numbers

The blogging famine has ended. Apparently, the process of moving sucks all the creative juices from my being and replaces them with A&W Root Beer, Corn Nuts, and packing tape residue. That is my excuse.

The exodus in numbers:

Let my Wintogreens go!

1,582: miles traveled
5: days it took (including one day of hanging out with the familia in Denver)
11: feet of clearance on our Uhaul
2: roadkilled armadillos seen
3: hours Graham was entertained by playing with a toothbrush
13: dollars spent on beef jerky
34: pages of Great Expectations read
5: minutes spent talking about whether it's appropriate to bear testimony that God has a sense of humor
530: calories in a bag of Corn Nuts (Ranch flavor)
20: questions in a game Nathan and I discovered we aren't very good at (he failed to deduce "seahorse," I "the earth")
2: number of nuns in a minivan who saw us pointing at them
6: inches pillow in Texas hotels are short ... everything's bigger in Texas, except the pillows!
3: Albrechtsens very happy to be done moving, for now.

Monday, August 15, 2011


Seeing a little blue crane logo above the toilet seat in your hotel room and recognizing it from the toilets in the house you grew up in.

Some things just warm your heart as they comfort your bum.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Hairy Thoughts

I don't know why, but I'm suspicious of girls with bushy eyebrows who are otherwise stylish and attractive. They are always so confident, so comfortable with their bushy selves. And I envy them--not the brows, but the boldness.

Like two furry eels leaping towards each other for a kiss.
Sometimes I don't shave my legs for weeks on end (my Utah winter coat, you know), but I usually cover up that little garden with pants or dark tights on Sundays (because dark blond hair does show through beige nylons--learned that the hard way). So I don't think hairy legs can count as my antibeauty anthem. I don't have the pride to flaunt them.

I used to consider my poodlerific head of hair my "statement piece." But guess what? Pregnancy turned my hair straight! It took me twenty two years to figure out how to deal with that Brillo pad and now it's on its way out. I think it's starting to go curly again, but I'm not quite sure. What I do know: I look like a total dweeb with six inches of straight hair and six inches of curly. Gah!

I look like I'm growing out a perm. Blegh. Also, what's with the Leno chin??

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Thought on Packing

When seeking newspaper to wrap around and cushion your stuff, perhaps don't grab the free city paper that is always available in a stand by your mailbox. It's free for a reason ... like because the paper is funded with smutty ads instead of subscriptions. Wrapping your framed engagement photo up in a print for a "gentleman's" club is awkward. An my poor Scentsy warmer is blushing at the "massage" ads it's nestled inside. Gah! I need a stack of the Deseret News.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Graham is .5 Solar Years Old!

Happy six months, Teddy Graham!

To celebrate, Graham barfed all over himself while we were driving around Houston looking for a place to live next year. Then Daddy-O bought him a cool green ball to make him feel better, and also because we think Graham should have a ball (a blow-up globe doesn't really count). Then the waitress at Pappasito's Cantina wouldn't stop glomming all over him because he is so cute and she is so disrespectful of a baby's personal boundaries. But can we blame her? Not really.

Happy Half Birthday, Graham!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Grubby Pigeon Shoppe Presents Boy Bands

I've come to the shocking realization that there's no money in being a stay-at-home mom. For some reason I thought Graham would be giving me a check every other Friday ... but that hasn't been happening and he won't return my emails. So apparently I'm an unpaid intern.

Come September, Nathan will be back to full-time student status and, like me, be doing nothing for our bottom line except making it a deeper shade of red. Student loan red (look for the paint chip at Home Depot).

What is the answer to this problem? Budget more? Have Nathan take on a part-time job? Sell some of my excess crap?

Uh ... how about OPENING AN ETSY SHOP?

Why I didn't think of this sooner is beyond me, because I'm super duper crafty and artistic. Pretty much Gadianton Robber crafty. Why, in the past two years I've partially completed a knitted pixie hat for Graham, sewn overly large pajama pants, made a ghastly yellow plate in a pottery class, and constructed a defective nursing cover. I'm pretty sure I'm qualified to do this.

Especially because I have the greatest idea ever. There's a hole in the huge market of headbands that I must fill.

I give you the baby boy headband.

"The Dino," just one of many designs.

Why should girls have all the fun of overdeveloping their neck muscles in order to support a massive head ornamentation? Graham feels left out of this party, and Nathan won't let me buy him a Newsies cap. The solution? The baby boy headband, or "Boy Bands," as they are called in my new enterprise: The Grubby Pigeon Shoppe.

Graham's other option. Not in the shoppe ... this is a little hat Nathan used to wear!

Pretty sure I've found my true calling. Visit the Grubby Pigeon Shoppe today!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I Love X-Men

I just saw X-Men: First Class.



How did I not know about Michael Fassbender? "But you killed my mother." !!!! Kevin Bacon's head gets the jukebox treatment!

Preferred powers: telekinesis and telepathy ... so pretty much I want to be Phoenix, but without all the crazy.

Check out my belt.

But we're talking about First Class, not The Last Stand (which was disappointing).

Nathan didn't like the disparity between Xavier's character in the beginning (hitting on girls in bars, drinking from the huge test tube thing) and the end (benevolent and wise)--he said there was too much maturing too fast. But James McAvoy is just so cute--like a powerful little mouse with a cute accent.

Mystique--played by the girl who will be playing Katniss in The Hunger Games. Personally her head looked funny while she was in blue mode--a bit wide. She is no Rebecca Romijn, but I think she did well. Does anyone else think it's weird that she's a sixty-year old in the other movies? Yes, her cells age more slowly ... but it's awkward to think about an old lady running around naked, and blue no less!


-Hugh Jackman cameo. Although ever since my bridal shower when I named him as the one celebrity I would leave Nathan for (joking! of course), my poor hubby has a bit of a complex about him. What made it worse: it was a joint bridal shower with my future sis-in-law, and when it was her turn to answer the question, she just blushed and said she wouldn't pick anyone over her fiance. Way to make me look like a scarlet woman ...

-Emma Frost's awesome sixties style. Big hair, wide belt, fluffy Russian hat ... awesome.

-How the Nazi coin came full circle.

-The retro X suits.

Am I a diver? Or a kick-tush X-Man?


-Magneto's helmet at the end. Red horns? A bit much, Erik.

-Mystique's total rebound from Hank to Erik ... but can I blame her?

-Cold War plots aren't my favorite because ... nothing happens. Okay, so there was great action in the movie, but it just feels overdone.


-The movie.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Happy Birthday Nathan!

The two men in my life, and five of the doors in my life.
My wonderful husband is 27 years old today! That's late twenties! Gah!

Nathan is pretty great.

He is smart (760), funny (haha), tall (5' 11"), dark (but still Caucasian), handsome (left and right), and sweet (naturally).

He can bench press Graham (probably more?), tie his shoes, and make popcorn from scratch.

Breakfast fit for a father.

He works for the most profitable company in the world, of all time. He can grow a beard really fast.

His feet are well-groomed (a rarity in men, I think), he can fly a (toy) helicopter (named Choppy), and four is his favorite number.

Nathan's #2 baby.

Nathan hates spiders, cheese, ignorance, and terrorism.

His favorite book is Great Expectations. His favorite movie is The Testaments. His favorite person is me.

He is my husband, and he is wonderful!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

La Boda

Once again, I am writing this post late, but dating it as if it were on time in order to preserve the loveliness of having a post for each day.

Thoughts on Mexican weddings:

-If the US (the white portion, at least) and Mexico started to battle, and the outcome of the war was determined by dancing skills, we would lose, my friends. Mexicans have rhythm, coordination, hips. We have slightly ashamed bobbing from one foot to another, with some exuberant YMCA arm action when needed. When the Cha Cha Slide faded (oh how I hate that song), and the banda music started to play, all us whities left the floor, confused, while the Mexicanos paired up and danced actual steps! There was poise, finesse, and Nate and I even spotted a discreet tush grab. I was jealous (not of the goose, but of the skills).

Goose bum ... get it? Goose bum?

-Mexicans know how to dress up for a party. I had a picture of Graham and his gorgeous new aunt that I wanted to post, but I lost our camera on the way home! Arg. But she looked lovely. Her dress had pockets! How awesome is that? And her guests: glamorous. Lots of shine, high high heels, and gowns. Not dresses, gowns. I was in an ill-fitting polyester number and felt dreadfully out of my league fashion-wise. At least I had a cute baby on my hip--the ultimate accessory, even if he was doing his grunting baby eagle squawk during the slide show.

A composite image of all Llubia's guests.

-This is a reflection on weddings in general: they are great. Weddings are the ultimate combination of family, tradition, love, fun, and food. Mmm fajitas! I'm so glad we were able to attend Justin and Llubia's wedding. Even though I don't know either of them super well, I think my bachelor's degree (sniffs and adjusts spectacles) allows me to declare them great together (but you don't need a degree in marriage and family studies to know the obvious!).

Felicidades, Justin and Llubia!

Friday, August 5, 2011

El Paso=Houston-Humidity-Trees+more Mexicans

I'm sitting on my motel bed, watching my little son sleep on the other queen in the room. I never knew he stretched his arms in his sleep. I love seeing his little belly rise and fall.

Highlights of the day:

Graham was a charmer on the plane. He only squawked a few times, and besides that was nothing but cute. So he spit up about four times ... on Nathan.

Pizza and carrot cake for dinner. Yum.

Graham got to meet his Grandpa Albrechtsen for the first time! So sweet! On top of that, he got to meet all his cousins, and a few new aunts and uncles.



I was a major Sudoku cripple on the plane. The "warm-up" puzzle was already filled in ... so that's my excuse. I jumped in to the "easy" cold. Then I made a mistake I was too lazy to find. Then the "medium" puzzle was super hard and I gave up before the flight ended. I am ashamed.

While Nate's family gathered around the motel pool to chat, we had the displeasure of learning that white Spongebob boxers do not a swimsuit make. One word: cling. Gah!


Tomorrow I get to go to my first Mexican wedding. Or perhaps it would be a half-Mexican wedding because Nate's brother is American and his fiance is Mexican. I am so excited! Although if any of you were wondering, there will not be a nacho cheese fountain. :(

Thursday, August 4, 2011

So I Overpacked ...

I've come to realize that of the truckload of stuff I brought to Houston this summer, I really only needed about a third of it, and that's with using the word "need" generously.

But my dreams of making crème brûlée made me bring my ramekins (both the large and small sets).

My aspirations of getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight inspired me to bring my size 6 charcoal Express "Editor pant(s)" ... even though they still need to be hemmed, even after over four years of owning them.

The "Editor Pant" ... I'm pretty sure these will help me get published, either because of the homage in the name, or else the posh omittance of the "s" at the end.

Visions of fun-filled game nights prompted me to bring Risk, Monopoly, Scrabble, Canasta, and more. I guess I forgot Netflix existed when I packed those ...

All these, and more items, have remain unused the entire summer. Gah!

Popcorn air popper? Collecting dust. Brown canvas wedges? Deemed to dangerous to wear while carrying a baby. Mug with the Boy Scout logo on the side? Not allowed to use it, according to Nathan.

I have too much crap!

So today, I went on a purge. Kind of. It was probably a junior-level purge. Or maybe novice-level.

I threw out:
-expired coupons (pretty painful, I know)
-a stained, white hair band (took some effort)
-empty battery packaging

Okay, okay, so I have a long way to go. But I am a believer in simplifying and getting rid of stuff. Before we moved to Tejas I threw out/gave away about 75% of my t-shirt inventory--which seems like a big step until I tell you that all of the purged were either white (I hate white t-shirts), the wrong size, or full of holes in compromising areas.

Tomorrow I will throw ten things away. ... Two of those things cannot be trash. Baby steps.

Also tomorrow: my first airplane trip with a baby in tow!! I better go overpack.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Library Love

I love the library. Love it!  Because:

1) Free books. Duh! And when I'm done, I give them back--my shelf space is reserved and I don't have to haul them around every time I move.

2) Free movies! Granted, the selection is not that great. But they are free. Take that price-hiking Netflix! On a sidenote, while I think raising prices almost 60% isn't the most customer-friendly move, I do have to admit that $16/month for unlimited streaming and about 8 DVD's a month (that's our turnaround rate if we hit the mail just right) is still a pretty darn good deal.  The real downside is that I'll feel like I need to watch more TV/movies to get my money's worth. And I would really like to cut down on my screen time. So I can bond with the environment, you know ... which in downtown Houston consists of the little grass patch outside the exercise room. Or the hummingbird-sized mosquitoes.

(Do PETA members swat at mosquitoes? I really dislike PETA. I like animals (both on a bun and off), but come on!)

3) My baby just woke up ... he likes libraries, too. Board books in Spanish, anyone?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Monday, August 1, 2011

Graham Eats

What a goof! His breath smelled like onions for the rest of the night ... and even the next morning.

This next one might not be worth the four minutes unless you are a grandparent ... but I love his reaction at the one minute mark.

I love this kiddo. Feeding him is a blast.